The Lantern

Issue date: 4/30/08 Section: Campus

Photo Courtesy of Sarah Sullivan Sarah and Jay Sullivan tie the knot Dec. 9, 2006 in Cincinnati. Jay is a specialist in the 3rd Infantry Division who is currently serving in Iraq.

Sarah and Jayson "Jay" Sullivan have been married since December 2006.

Unlike the typical married couple, Jay and Sarah spend some months thousands of miles apart while Jay, 22, is in Iraq.

"I think communication is probably the biggest problem - being able to make time for one another because there's a seven- hour (time) difference," said Sarah Sullivan, 20, a senior in criminology.

"And trying to work around my classes it's hard to find time to talk to him about things. It's like we have to make sure we keep on communicating and talking to one another about how we feel, otherwise we won't know each other when he gets back."

This couple and others at Ohio State take on the responsibilities of college students and husbands or wives while upholding military duties.

Sarah says marriage is a relationship, but it is also like an investment.

"You have to put time into it-it's not all about love," she said.

Stationed in Fort Stewart Jay has been enlisted in the United States Army since June 2004.

After the wedding, the couple moved to the southern army base. Sarah made the decision to take online courses through Ohio State so she could be with her husband. She has moved back and forth between Ohio and Georgia in order to be close to him.

"I think everybody thinks, when I tell them I'm married, they get mad at me - I kind of resent it - the fact that they're judging me without knowing me," Sarah said. "When you get married it's based on each couple and their decision and their responsibility."

She said couples should talk about everything before they get married - career goals, having kids and where they want to live. One cannot think he or she will change a person after being married. Those issues and differences must be settled beforehand.

Sarah plans to graduate early because when her husband leaves the army they will not have any income. She has decided to get a job so that he can go to school.

High school sweethearts Cyntosha Ervin and Ryan Drewry met in high school. They knew each other two years before they started dating.

"It's probably the most complicated thing you could possibly go through," said Ervin, 20, a sophomore in business.

She is engaged to Drewry, 23, a freshman in history.

"For 15 months he actually went to Iraq when I first came to college here at Ohio State," Ervin said. "I wanted to take advantage of any time I could to talk to him ... he'd call at three in the morning sometimes and I'd just have to wake up and talk to him."

According to Ervin, a lot of trust must be given by both people in a long-distance relationship. The distance is difficult for both of them.

"I have the stresses of school and exams and at the same time have to worry every day if he's going to be all right," Ervin said.

She thinks distance makes a big difference in college relationships.

"I think that relationships that are separated are stronger because you don't have that physical connection ... you have so much stronger skills in being able to communicate with each other because that's all you have," Ervin said.

Couples like these have many factors to consider. Moving and long-distance phone calls can be expensive.

Drewry returned from Iraq recently. He and Ervin agree that they are much closer now that they have spent time apart and realized how difficult and complicated their relationship was.

Both couples agree that any couple must communicate for their relationship to work.

"I would tell (couples) to really think about their relationship-I feel like some people look forward to the wedding and not the marriage," Sullivan said. "It's important to make sure that you really love that person."

D'Andrea Kinley can be reached at kinley.8@osu.edu.

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